Edie's War

Desperate Housewives. I love this show. It is a show that follows the lives of six different women living on Wisteria Lane and their interactions with each other. The main premise of the show always draws the audience: Everyone has their dirty laundry.

This show has become everyone's guilty pleasure show. I say, why even feel guilty watching this show? It's amazing watching some of these women outwit their competitors and neighbors. For a time, there was one housewife (my personal favorite) that would always ruin everything for everyone. Her name is Edie Britt.

Edie was, for a time, the Wisteria Lane ho. She would shack up with other women's husbands or just make everyone's life difficult with a little blackmail. I love her because she speaks honest when other women are dancing around the issue. She is able to face reality at times with little sympathy to whom she comes in contact with.

Now, I am only three episodes into season five, but I have a question for Edie: What does she do when she finally gets competition? For a time, she did have competition with Susan over Mike Delfino, but Susan is a ditz and at times, had no idea what she was doing.

Last night, I finally met my match. My rival. The look in his eyes sent a message, and it said: The War's on Bitch. The only problem is, I don't want to fight this guy. If I win, I might lose something; but if I lose, I will lose it anyway. I want to get along with him, be his friend, but all he wants to do so far is fight.

Driving to San Diego, I was a nervous wreck. In the passenger seat, an unopened bottle of Pinot Noir. I was texting this new guy named Chris, we have been texting non-stop for the past two days and I have really grown fond of this guy, but I was texting him now because I was nervous as hell. I started texting every man, woman, and child on my phone, telling them where I was going. They were all really nervous for me but telling me how brave I am for doing it.

City Heights. My phone's GPS told me I was in the right area and that it should be on the left side of the street five hundred feet ahead of me. The houses on this street were ghetto. Some had old beaten up cars on the grass, old popcorn kiosks you see at the street fairs, and little children wearing t-shirts that advertised movies that came out ten years ago.

Walking five hundred feet, my GPS told me I had made it to my destination on the left. I looked to the left to see a house that has seen better days. It was blue (lots of sun damage made to this house), and there was a fence with wild plants coming out and trying to hide the house, as if embarrased to be growing there. I texted him and told him I am here. I couldn't believe he lives here. He spent all that money on a piece of shit house like this. Luckily, I looked over the next block to see him poking his head out of the gate looking for me. I exhaled a sigh of relief and made my way down the street towards him.

Every step I made towards him, I became more and more nervous. This is how life was going to be for us for a while, and I can't do anything about it. Be strong. I told myself as I took some deep breaths. Don't you fucking cry.

I greeted him with a smile and excitement as I seen him. It had been a week since I last seen him, I missed him. Jeff smiled back at me as he stood proudly in front of his studio complex. In comparison to the other places on the street, it looked really nice. It was by far, the nicest structure on the block. He stood in front of the gate as I hugged him. He opened up the wooden gate to his complex and let me in.

I handed him the Pinot Noir as a housewarming gift for both him and Joel. He accepted it and thanked me as he put the keys into his studio. Here we go. I thought, bracing my emotions for yet another roller coaster in my life.

Jeff's studio was SO CUTE! I was surprised how nice it was. Everything was arranged so well and was decorated very nicely. I tried to not look at the bed having two pairs of pillows; but it was in the middle of the room, so it was inevitable. They had a kitchen with granite countertops and nice beautiful tiles for the floor. The closet was a walk-in. Once I got the grand tour of the place, all I could say was: I am really happy for you! He did a good job.

We started talking while Alicia Keys was singing on the iPod, catching up on each other's lives while he was slamming a Rockstar before the gym. Then he said this to me: I really hope you can make your way down here like two or three times a week, so we can go to the gym and because you're down here anyway.

He was hugging me, as if sad, I couldn't read on his emotions, but I could tell that he really missed me. As pissed off as I was that he left me in Escondido to move to City Heights, four miles away from Hillcrest, I felt like all was going to be okay. I still have my best friend. So we went to the gym and ran, like we used to do all the time back in his old hometown. He was telling me about his latest fight with his boyfriend. And the only thing I could do, besides see reason on Jeff's end, was laugh at Joel's expense over his own stupidity.

This fight was petty, way dumber than the last fight they had over Jeff losing his job with Infiniti. Joel is used to having guys that have high expectations for his boyfriends, but Jeff is the complete opposite. I am not going to tell you what they fought over, because that would make you laugh at his expense....okay, I'll tell you. So Jeff was cooking dinner and Joel was folding laundry. Jeff told him that dinner was ready, yet he was still folding laundry. He was assuming that Jeff was going to make him a plate for him. When Jeff didn't, he got mad and stormed out of the studio. OMG right? yeah, I know.

They ended up getting into a fight how Jeff is not considerate and thoughtful of Joel. I don't see reason in this, because Jeff did do his laundry for Joel earlier that day, and buy groceries for the both of them and help move them in while Joel was at work. It made no sense. And all I could do was laugh at Joel.

We were driving back to Jeff's studio. I apologized that we were going to be late. Jeff has the only key to the studio and if Joel gets home before we do, he will be locked out of the house. "Don't worry, he doesn't get home until 4:15. So as long as we get home before then he should be fine."
We were stuck in traffic in City Heights, it was 4:17. I was starting to feel bad because this was going to get Jeff in trouble as well as make a bad first impression on my part if I was going to meet him.

I drove down Jeff's street and I asked Jeff if I could meet Joel. He was going to be outside waiting anyway, why not meet him? Jeff said it was all right. He wants us to meet and get along, because we are the two most important people in his life. Awww.

So I park the car and we get out. Joel was standing there near the gate like an angry housewife awaiting her husband to come home after a night with the boys. I smile at him, yet didn't have any return. Jeff was making his way over to Joel. "Joel, I want you to meet my best friend, Pablo."

Joel looked at me, I smiled warmly, half-excited to meet him. I extended out my hand to shake it, yet recieved no return. He kept his hands tucked in his sweater, obviously pissed off at the both of us for making him wait outside. Jeff told me to have fun on my date that I was going on later that day as he hugged me. For the next fifteen seconds, as I was talking to Jeff, I made an occassional glance at Joel, and time slowed down.

He was giving me such an evil stare. Sending me the message: The War's on bitch. He wasn't very welcoming at all. This was the worst first-impression I have ever recieved from one person. I was checking Joel out. He had earrings on, short hair, and a mole on the side of his nose. He definetly wasn't my type, but I could definetly have the confidence in saying this: I am definetly hotter than he. And that was the ego boost I needed to make myself feel better. But all of my suspicions about this guy was right: he did feel threatened by me.

This housewife has met his match. I may be a slut, but I am definetly not going to ruin Jeff and Joel's relationship if that's what he's thinking. I just love being with Jeff and talking to him about things going on in our lives. This guy wants to wage war on me when I have no means of taking over his territory. But if he is going to be going on the attack, I am definetly going to defend my territory as well. Jeff may not be my boyfriend, but I am his best friend. If he wants to fight, I have no qualms of doing so. I will most likely kick his ass.

So my question remains to my adored housewife Edie Britt: What do you do when you have competition? Do you get sneaky in stealing him back, risking losing a friend in the process? I know Edie would play dirty, but I am trying to think of other ways to not be ruthless. He is my friend, not my boyfriend, if I were to fight for him, I would lose because Jeff would catch on and tell me that his feelings are for Joel now and I should leave them alone. If I am going to be fighting for my best friend, I am going to be sneaky. Like some of the other housewives on Wisteria Lane.