Evolution: The Double Take (part 1)

Evolution. The way something changes by way of pain and time. A tadpole moves from being a sperm with a dark tan into becoming a frog. Some can be cute and cuddly; others can be just ugly...like men that go to Bear Night at Rich's:fat, hairy, wearing the leather to reveal their dominance over their insecurities...well a handful that go there is cute.

But sometimes evolutions allow us to change at such a dramatic rate that the change can at first seem uncomfortable, but the results make us do a double-take to help us realize that we are not imagining anything. I looked in the mirror this morning and saw a different person. Someone that will always have pain, but will always give life a second, third, fourth, fourteenth chance. I am changing. Changing into a person that learns from his pain and finds a way to make it better. Like this past weekend. But before talking about that, I must go to a prologue...to the weekend before, when Mister Big was there and ruined my night.

Back Room. Numbers. 11 pm. Dancing with my friend Michael. I felt the urge to get up on one of the podiums and dance my ass off. It's kind of funny how one audition has turned into an addiction for attention...that and the incredible endorphin rush that comes with it...another drug I love and will discuss on another blog. While I was up there, behind the pedestal dividing us, I saw two guys staring at me. I couldn't tell if it was disgust or pleasure, but I continued dancing.

Twenty minutes later, I go back into the room. And see the two guys dancing in between the two podiums. They caught my glance and one of them, whom I now know as Gabe, pointed to me, then to the podium following the words: "You. Podium. Now!" And feeling the love/lust, I resume my spot on the podium, kicking the other guy off.

Gabe turns around as I get down on my knees and feel his body. Then he pushes his other friend at me. He was shy, but I made sure that it didn't last. I reach for the bottom of his shirt, and pull it off. Creating a wardrobe malfunction and revealing his muscles underneath. I get off the podium to dance with the two guys. Gabe pushes the shy guy at me. I started dancing with him while hearing Gabe scream in my ear: "He needs to take you home tonight!"

Suddenly, everything turned Cinderella on me, forcing me to leave the fun I was having someone decided to be a jackass. He goes by the name of Mister Big. Yeah that one.

One week passes by, angry where my life is going and how I can't wait to get out of this hell that I am in. I texted Mister Big to tell him that I am going to Rich's and to stay away because I want to have fun without any drama.

Dirty Pop night. A night where things finally took a turn. The first hour was dedicated to fighting off drunk Australian girls and trying to have me get hooked up with their ugly drunk Aussie gay friend. They would get up on the podium and dance...needless to say, it got annoying really fast.
Suddenly, the sea of girls in flashy dresses parted, bringing a whole new meaning to parting the Red Sea, and I seen that guy from Numbers.

In my two years of being an out-of-the-closet gay male, I have never run into the same person more than once at a club. Well besides the ugly people that can't dance, but they don't count. When I saw him, I began to make my way over to him. I approach him and say "Your name is Rob?" He nods his head, smiling and trying to hide other emotions. Gabe looks to see that it's "that guy from Numbers." He comes up to me and says: "He has been looking for you all week. We looked around the club that night searching for you!"

I am going to skip the other details that happened at the club because they aren't relevant. Let's go to the end.

1:30 a.m. They begin to leave the club, I follow them. The steam and fog from inside the club seeps out of the door and into the warm summer night. Gabe reaches in Rob's pants to pull out his cell phone. He walks up to me and says: "what's your number?"
"What are you doing?" Rob asks taking the phone back and looks at me. "What's your number?"
I give it to him. His friends were trying to hook us up like Yentyl the Jewish Matchmaker in Fiddler on the Roof. Asking me where I parked my car. "The Center?" I reply.
"Okay cool. Well can you walk him to the Center and we will pick him up?"

Then in a flash, Gabe, his boyfriend John, and their friend Glenn take off, leaving Rob and I together, alone. Obviously we were talking and making time pass by as we were walking to the Center. By the time we get there, his friends show up again to ask me something else: "Pablo sweetie, can you take him home? He doesn't live too far."

Not leaving time for an acceptance or refusal, they took off. I didn't mind taking him home. I just began to realize the evolution of my own life.

Did man ever realize, according to theory of course, upon entering his evolution...did he realize...wow, I don't have quite as much hair as I used to. Wow. I actually look attractive without that extreme underbite. When did man realize that he was changing; and if they did, were they enjoying the change? And if they did, am I really ready to transform again? Am I ready to become the stronger species that won't be gobbled up. I mean, I am already facing pain and feeling the change happening. But will I become the survivor of the fittest, or find another vein of pain? What does this all mean for me?

To be continued...