My Own Worst Enemy

Strong. Fuerte. Forte. Strong Suit. The elements to relying someone. They gotta be strong. For me, this is the central aspect to my world. And the people to tell me this for the first time in my life was a gay couple.
For people that have read my previous blogs: The Virus, this will be review for you. But let me explain to the new readers.
After experiencing my first breakup, discovering a family secret, and being in trouble with the school's administration for writing graphic and offensive blogs, my physical, spiritual, and willed body just gave up. I went into a catatonic state where it was all about fighting these trios of guilt. In my head, my brain went on repeat where three thoughts in my head, all beginning with an "if only..." and ending with a "...it's all your fault."
In my identity, I have found out that I am my own worst enemy. No one can understand the pain like I can, no one can hurt me like I can. At times, I can put myself under torture without mercy. And I did that for a year. Until, I had a hook up...well not necessarily a hook up. It turned out to be more than just that.
These guys offered me a massage. For free. In my head, i thought they were going to be wanting a threesome. So I was shaking and nervous. When they got me on their table, I found out they were Christian. When i found that out, I word-vomited all over them, basically telling them my pain and triumphs as they were healing me of my knots and kinks in my muscles.
Three hours later, they said something that totally refined the way I work. "After hearing your story, it's clear to us that you are a strong individual. You have gone through so much pain, yet you are still standing, you are one of the strongest people we have met." It was on that day that I discovered my power...my gift. I am strong.
Looking back on my life, I never realized how strong I really am. I survived every single trial that would befall me. I would be determined and finish the challenge while blowing the smoke off my gun.
No one ever really told me that I was strong, they would only tell me the cliched phrase: "you can do it."
It reminds me of that scene in one of my favorite "comedies" The Devil Wears Prada. Andy becomes frustrated with Miranda treating her unfairly, so she vents to Miranda's creative voice. After she vents to him, he replies with a simple "so quit." She is shocked with his quick reply. He explains himself. "Millions of girls will kill to have your job, she can find another girl like that." This became the catalyst in the story to do her very best and be strong and overcome Miranda's overly ridiculous demands.
It is also clear to me that we all have a gift. We are all our own superhero and our own villian. We can be the destruction to our lives or be the one to bring us out of our own woods. I am not pushing my religion on you, but God brought me those guys to bring me out of the woods, because I was not yet aware of my power. So it would be kinda weird to say that they are my Super[Gay]Friends...I just don't seem to know which one is Wonder Woman and who is Aquaman.