Mommy Complex

Mothers have an intuition about them that when their kids are in danger, they run on the defensive side and can, at times, inhibit a somewhat superhuman ability to protect their kids. One mother, when witnessing her children being crushed by their car after an accident, was able to lift the vehicle up high enough to have her children escape without any further injury. But humans aren't the only animals that show this type of love, even animals exhibit this type of behavior.

A mother bird in her nest notices that the forest around her chicks is on fire. She simply protects them by covering them to prevent injury; although they did become fried, it is plain to see the type of sacrifice is something that God had built into all of his creatures. It's a kind of way that shows of our undying love for someone that we care about.

Granted, I am not a mother, or a dad for that matter as of yet, but I do show this type of emotion, but I do have this defense complex built into me (one of the benefits of being a mama's boy). One of the things that I learned from my first boyfriend is not be afraid to stand up for what you are most passionate about, whether it be a political statement, a friend, lover, or someone or something you care about. Soon, I began to adapt this into my own life. Standing up for my friends and things I truly cared about. The moment someone makes a sneaky attempt to hurt something I care about, they know not to mess with me nor the person that is in the middle. Today, one of my once closest friends had to experience this. She had crossed the line by attacking my community, and I was not going allow it. Sure, you can attack me all you want, I can surely take it; but the moment that you begin to attack my gay community, then we have a problem.

Before I begin, let me give you a prologue about this friend. Her name is "Stacy." She and I have been friends for a long time and knew me before I realized I was gay. When we went off to our different colleges, we still stayed in contact. Now during this time, she had made a confession to me: she is bisexual. Following that little confession, our friendship grew closer because at the time, I was dating a guy and felt so relieved to see someone else close to me was seeing life through my eyes as well. She would update me on what was going on in her life. Stacy confided in me just as much as I did with her. I would tell her things about my love life I wouldn't normally tell, mainly because I trusted her. She told me that she would never come out of the closet, and if she ever decided to do so, she would do it in her time.

Suddenly, she had made a big change, her blogs changed from being about finding something into turning religious. She has always been a Christian, but the recent posts have been about falling in love with God and rejecting her dark side of her life. My Slayer instincts told me that something was going on. Then I saw a post that she had put up on her account saying that she had been given crap for protesting. This is the part when the shit hit the fan.

Curiosity always gets me in trouble. Sure, you can tell me to not to touch the fire, but I won't know the pain of a burn than to experience it for myself. I asked her what exactly she was protesting, she had told me it was for Prop 8. This totally brought up a Fire-Engine Red Flag up in my head because she had recently discovered God in her closet, dusted Him off, and put him back on (God was outside the closet too, she just was too afraid to open the closet door to see). I asked if she was protesting FOR PROP 8 or AGAINST PROP 8. She replied with a FOR. This is when the Mommy Complex kicked in.

In case you don't live in California, Prop 8 is a bill that is on the voting ballot that, if passed, could write in the California Constitution that marriage is "between a man and a woman." Complete. Bullshit. But I will continue the story.

I wrote back telling her how disappointed I was in her. How she could be for something that prohibits my right to happiness, and does not grant me the same rights as an American citizen. I also began to explain to her that being a bisexual woman in the closet is a smack in the face to the gay community. Then she began to reply by saying how my lifestyle is a sin and that finding God was her way out of it. It was at this point that my ammunition changed from Nerf Balls to Photon Lasers. I told her I am a Christian too and can't believe she was pulling the God card on me because her convictions of being a bisexual had overcome her thoughts and made her feel like she was going to hell for being who she is. This is when she called me. I let it ring four times before I finally answered it. Needless to say, my earring had come off and I was ready to fight back. She began to tell me how she is trying to protect her marriage. By this time, the photon lasers were taken back and I had switched to my semi-automatic bazooka.

Like I said earlier, you mess with me, that's fine. I can fend for myself, but the moment you pick on someone or something that I care about, that's when I play nasty. I lashed back that she can keep her fucking marriage, but it's my marriage as well as the rest of the gay community's marriage that is at stake. She was telling me how self-absorbed I am, making this whole conversation about me. Honestly, this conversation wasn't about me, it's about the entire fucking gay community. I am speaking from the voices of 3 million gay men and women across California. It is our rights that are at stake*, not the straight community.

I ended the conversation, after she was attacking me for being gay, by replying that maybe the closet could use a self-righteous bitch in there after all. Self-righteous bitches are good at gathering dust. Sure, it was mean and cruel, but I was definetly not going to be peaceful about it when my gay community is being attacked. I developed my ability to protect those that I truly care about and fight back. Because really, if I take it lying down, they will just step all over me, and I am not a person that takes conflicts lying down. Unless they end up having a happy ending if you know what I mean....

But sad to say, I had to break it off with Stacy. Sure, it hurt doing it, but I am not going to have a once-close friend try to hurt me and my community. Sometimes, one of the things involved in a mommy complex is being able to sacrifice. I was really disapointed that a very close friend of mine was trying to prohibit my right to happiness. I mean of all people, friends are one of the people that should be the ones supporting you. She even told me that she wanted me to settle down with someone and be happy. How would I be able to do that if I can't even marry the person that I love?

* If you have any questions regarding Prop 8. Please ask me. Otherwise, if you are truly my friend, set aside your religious bias and VOTE NO ON PROP 8. Because it's not about religion, it's about what is fair and what's right. Voting yes will only show your discrimination. Not all of America is Christian. We are given the rights to three things: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. How can we ever achieve this if my rights are being stifled because of your religious convictions?