I finally answered the phone. Not even acknowledging him with a “Hey, what’s up.” Or a “Hey stranger.” Just a simple “Hello” seemed to suffice. I was still angry with him. He’s not getting any special treatment, not after the rollercoaster of emotions I endured today.
The duration of the onversation was short, confused whether I should be a bitch right now or at another time when it’s in person. After apologizing for missing my call, he asked me if I was hungry.
My depression was slowly disappearing as I got more comfortable in my chair. I began to forgive him. First sign of the sudden heart failure: you still really care for him.
My heart began to get strong enough to beat on its own. “I was hoping you were asking for food, because I’m starving.”
“Cool. Well, I want Tammy (his old roommate before he moved in with Señor…nevermind….) to come because I’m sure she is hungry as well.”
In the background, I hear her distant voice saying “No, I’m not. I’m fine, you two go.”
Honestly, I didn’t want Tammy to come along, because there was a lot that I still needed to discuss with Jeff regarding his month-and-a-half intermission from my life. But something was telling me to table that argument for a time when we could be together, sipping tea and sharing a bagel like we used to.
I was certainly not going to arrive sober to this event. Lord knows what might happen if I didn’t come prepared. So I made myself look pretty, kicked back a shot, and walked into the restaurant.
I really didn’t know what to expect. But one thing that I knew that Jeff was going to do was pretend that he did nothing wrong. He is going to pretend that he is my Savior, but I with the passing of each day, I am starting to believe that he may be the Antichrist in my life.
I arrive inside the restaurant to see both Jeff and his roommate sitting in a hidden corner. I could feel my buzz kicking in, my confidence was increasing with each heartbeat, and I knew that as I was walking in, I looked good. I smiled warmly as I embraced Tammy, his roommate. Then finally, I had to embrace the Angel of Deception: Jeff.
He smiled at me the way that would always make my heart melt. But this time, I was onto him. After all this waiting, spending an entire day on a roller coaster of emotions, I had finally come face-to-face with the man that had abandoned me for a month and a half. I was angry; yet at the same time, my heart was leaping twice as fast as it normally would.
“It’s great to see you again.” He greeted me as we were holding onto each other. “You look good.”
Just feeling his warmth, I decided to let my anger take a smoking break while I allowed myself to enjoy the company of two people I had grown very close to.
Passing and breaking bread, a sign that interprets to let “bygones be by-gones.” No one wants to break bread with enemies, especially when one of them was paying the bill. Jeff was not going to get off the hook that easily, he was still going to have to explain why he disappeared. But I knew in the back of my mind, as much as I still do not like how he may act at times, I still love him. And that is why the world could end at any point. Because my love is so strong, and —yet— so fragile with him, that just the slightest disappointment in this man would send the world into a massive imbalance.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment